Your help please guys

[Brooks Productions]

I'm applying for a founding scheme for the UK film council at the end of the month.

I've just written my script and id like you guys to have a look.

Please only give constructive criticism. I want to get this right. The project means a lot to me.

Here it Merciful choice

[jb_617]

I've downloaded the script. I'll read over it tonight and give you some feedback.


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Fresh fish...fresh fish...

[Matty2phatty]

Hey, just finished reading the script.

I liked how the pace started slow, and sped up to a climax that really had my attention.

I don't know if it was just me or if Mark and James were TOO friendly, though it does make the end feel more emotional that way.

The text at the end hits your message home a little too hard for my liking, i'm wondering if it would be more effective just telling what sentence James got, and about the doctors licence being revoked. The audience could come to the conclusion themselves.

There were a few spelling and grammatical mistakes, not sure if you planned on fixing all that up. Like for example at the end of page 8, where you're referring to a her, when it's mark and james.

I'm pretty sure that was all i had to say about it, if i remember more i'll post again.

[Brooks Productions]

Yea spelling and grammer is a bit of a problem for me. Im quite dislexic in that department. Thanks for the kind words and taking time to read it.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 10, 2005 01:34 PM: Message edited by: Brooks Productions ]</font>

[Brooks Productions]

nice one JB, thanks

[Nigel]

I will do the same...

Good Luck